In the intervening years between then and when I my met my (non-loser) husband, I unfortunately had to learn this lesson over and over again: You Are Better Than a Lot of the Men Who Ask You Out.Criticism of The Rules was primarily directed at women — that it encouraged women to play games, that it made women manipulative.The Rules proposes to correct that lack of agency by taking away even more of your agency. Women still don't have a ton of agency in early courtship.

17: "Let Him Take the Lead"), and above all happy and busy, breezy and lighthearted.

He frowned — his previously attractive face now rather ferret-like.

"Oh, just, you know, beat," I said, and dialed a taxi service.

"I totally and completely understand that," I said, and slammed the car door behind me. 11, "Always End the Date First.") The taxi took off down the street and he ran after it, screaming, "This is your last chance — do you get that? " "I am already in the fucking car," I screamed out the window as the driver turned onto Atlantic Avenue and sped up to catch the light.

I wish I could say doing the Rules on Brian taught me an immediate and tidy feminist lesson. My experience with Brian was only the first tiny inkling that what I really needed to do was stop dating losers.