Despite his efforts, few girls ever answer his carefully crafted, very kind messages. I started out using Match.com, but then a friend told me that the success rate is much better on OKCupid, so I switched over to that. I’ve scheduled about an hour a day to browse through profiles and I look for several things.RD: How long have you been using online dating websites? Most importantly is that she likes doing similar things that I do. Maybe they don’t like my pictures, or maybe I’m not being as nice as I feel I am in my messages.I am getting terribly uncomfortable just thinking about it.RD: Did you get ANY messages from guys that seemed nice at all? AW: No, but the creepy messages most likely ruined it for any decent guys that might be around.
So, I really don’t think it’s a proven science quite yet.I have to mention that I did get maybe a message or two from guys that seemed okay, but once I checked out their profiles, it didn’t seem like we had anything in common so I didn’t bother.That’s one of the issues I see with online dating though. You’re much more likely to get past the initial message if you can get a girl to first start talking to you based on interests.You are a little more than collateral damage, as the large majority of guys slather, drool and stomp their way through the crowds, scaring off most of the nice girls that arrive on these sites, as evidenced by the interview above.This experience is best exemplified by my close friend who I will call Eric.Anonymous Woman (AW): I can’t remember the exact year I signed up… I saw that some of your interests were the same as mine,” or something along those lines.Also, some of the messages I got were from a few guys that ranged from early 40’s to late 40’s and I was maybe 19 at the time.Words on a page can only tell you so much and often, they are not the best “first impressions”. I know people who have had great successes with online dating! I have a strong preference toward meeting people in person FIRST, instead of online first. RD: How did you eventually end up meeting the guy you ended up marrying?Personally, I think there is so much more to be gained from talking with someone face to face – you are able to read their body language and listen to intonation in their voice, which are much better indicators than online messages or profiles. RD: If there are guys looking to actually get the attention of a girl on these dating sites, do you have any advice for them? AW: We lived across the hall from each other our first year of university.That was one of the main reasons I called it quits.It made me SO uncomfortable that guys so much older than me, older than most of my siblings (all of which are 8 years plus older than me), were sending me messages telling me that I was “hot”.The problem with online dating is that you can’t see the person’s face when they’re telling you about themselves. I think it’s hard for guys to comprehend the world of online dating from a woman’s perspective. They then flippantly toss out all of those well thought out, carefully crafted messages from most of those poor schmucks, and then they log onto their Facebook accounts to complain to their girlfriends that there are no “good men” left in the world.You can’t watch as they smile, and that smile spreads up into their eyes and transforms their face into one of the most beautiful things you’ve ever seen – a thing that warms your heart and makes you realize you want to spend more time with the person. Unfortunately, the reality is nowhere near that fantasy.Eric has been using a couple of online dating websites off and on for the past year, with very little success.