If you aren't in a very selfless place, dating a divorced man with kids may not be the best idea for you.Though their reasons for divorcing may vary, men whose marriages fell apart are fairly similar—beyond having ex-wives and legal bills that'll keep their attorneys in silk ties for decades.A good man will want to put his family first, and he should.You wouldn't want the father of your children to brush them off for someone outside the family, so don't take it personally when he has to cancel because his kids are sick or he has to go to a ballet recital.The kids are right about one thing, you're not their mom, and you shouldn't try to be—at least not yet.If you end up , then you can start working out your role in the family.Your man's financial situation, schedule and possibly even place of residence may change following the divorce.He may need to adjust to only seeing his children every other weekend or he may need to find a new place to live if his ex got the house in the settlement.
She has a Master of Science in applied developmental psychology from the University of Pittsburgh's School of Education.If and when he does introduce you to the kids, they may take some time to warm up to you or have concerns that you are trying to replace their mother. If the children don't behave around you, it's possible that they are having a rough day.That said, if they're disrespectful all of the time -- or to their dad -- it's a possible sign of trouble, according to psychologist Christie Hartman in her article "5 Things To Consider When Dating a Single Dad." Understanding why the man divorced is a must if you think that your relationship may go from casually dating to serious. Ask what he learned from the relationship and what he wants in the future from a potential partner, suggests psychiatrist Gail Saltz in the "Chicago Tribune" article "Dating In An Age of Multiple Divorces." Although you should make yourself available for him to talk to, don't try to play the role of therapist.For now, your job is to be a girlfriend, not a mom.It's tempting to out on your game face for your boyfriend's kids, especially if they are young.As if dating wasn't a challenge in itself, add in a newly divorced man and you may feel unsure how to handle this potentially dramatic relationship.As of 2009 there were more than 1 million divorced men in the U. If your guy is newly divorced, understanding how to handle his situation can help to prevent problems.If he's not coping well with the situation, suggest that he seek professional help to deal with the emotions and come to a better understanding of what went wrong in his past marriage.Divorce is a major life change that may affect many areas.Before throwing yourself into a relationship with a newly divorced man, make sure that you aren't his rebound.Relationships that start as a rebound after divorce may end in failure more easily than those that don't, according to psychiatrist Mark Banschick on on the Psychology Today website.No matter what your boyfriend has told you about his ex wife, you should never repeat it in front of the children, even if he does.Even if you know this woman was the cause of the divorce, you need to be sensitive to the face that she is the children's mother, and it's never your place to undermine her in this role.Here, the traits many formerly married guys share—even before their relationships end—with expert advice to prevent 1. That's because about 70% of the time, it's the wife who files for divorce.