Plenty Of Fish combines a horrible circa-1998 user interface with a more or less utter lack of selection criteria, so after squinting at the multitude of low-res pictures and the vaguely- or not-at-all-filled-out profiles, if your dating strategy is anything other than "whoever responds to my thousands of vague spam emails, she will I marry" (it's more of a guy thing), you realize that not only are you barking up the wrong tree, but in fact it's a coat-rack, and you should stop barking because of how you're not a dog. Two more personality disorders on my punchcard (come on, schizotypal! Eventually I began dating again, mostly meeting potential sugarboogers online, and I found myself debating which dating site to go with. Remember: your experience may differ, though only if you look a lot like Jon Hamm, in which case, why are you on an online dating site? If you're shooting for a partner a bit higher up the evolutionary ladder (or the fish ladder), not so much. Personality disorders, OCD, bipolar -- if you want to date your way through the DSM IV (and if you're taking an abnormal psych class, there's no better way to memorize the disorders), Match not only offers, but mandates that experience.I'm going to go with jaded because being jaded implies that you have a reason for being such... Pessimists tend to become cynical, as they tend to believe the existence of a hidden motive.Cynics thrive on the belief that you can't trust anything or anyone, with no solid reasoning... Optimists, with experience, tend to become jaded, as the world falls short of their expectations.
: Unsurprisingly, given that it was founded by a conservative Christian who for years claimed that his "special sauce" people-matching algorithm didn't work on LGBT people, e Harmony looks like the Facebook page of a member of one of those right-wing homophobic megachurches: squeaky-clean and creepy-religious. ) Jesus Christ (a frequent topic of many of the profiles), you can find pretty much any kind of person you're looking for on e Harmony, as long as you're looking for a devout Christian who probably handles snakes, speaks in tongues, has scheduled in GCalendar for next Thursday, "Rapture; dress light" and believes that premarital sex causes oh let's say Ebola or maybe incurable hiccups. ), and I get a free latte at Starbucks, a place I would rather have extremely hungry and sharp-toothed ferrets inserted forcibly into my anus than patronize.
We all experience crushing defeat in the world of love, but it's so much better to pick yourself up and move on than it is to become jaded and bitter. We all know brittle, world-weary, snarky people and we stay guarded around them. This is the only way that you can benefit from the experience. It is merely holding on to old pain as a way of protecting yourself.
Being cynical about relationships can turn into a vicious circle. There is a certain heaviness and resignation to people who are feeling discouraged and defeated. This is nowhere near as awesome as moving on and having love in your life again. Having a guarded, cynical attitude will not get you any closer to what you want. Pretending that you don't need love, that you don't care, that the only thing that matters is the avoidance of pain is playing small. They will bring love back into your heart and joy back into your life.
One big caveat though: demographics from this site (and big gratitude to them, because gawd forbid I should do a little research of my own) confirm my impression that OKCupid! I mean, my age parameters don't even come near to overlapping with theirs, but that's the kind of creepy knowledge that no amount of alcohol can wipe out of your brain. 's fault, but using their site can make you feel a little like that middle-aged guy who hangs around the high school. ), though not apparently if you're me (and I think some of you might be) -- hell, even on or e Harmony.
tends to skew a little bit younger than the other sites.