From an evolutionary biology standpoint, this makes good sense: the man who propagates his genes successfully does not need months to judge the reproductive potential of his mate, or her ability to nurture and raise children; he can see these things from physical cues, as well has her energy, moods, and her instinct to take care of him.But the woman who propagates her genes is one who accurately judges whether the man with whom she mates is not only strong, but also stable - that is, capable of protecting and providing for her children until they are grown.Before long I started getting attached and soon I found myself falling for him.We spent a lot of time together, and by three months I was in love.It amazed me that a woman could end up being so in love with a man that, initially, she wouldn't have seriously considered dating.In fact, I was so surprised by this that I initially doubted the truth of the stories.
If nothing else, this blog is an outlet for voicing my astonishment at the typical female's ignorance of the male mindset.I agreed because I wanted to give it a chance, and I hadn't been on a date in a while.The first date went OK, so we kept seeing each other.By now most of you have probably recognized the important point for women, which is implicit in my astonishment: men do not fall in love gradually, and they do not find themselves suddenly falling for women in whom they weren't initially interested.I was surprised because I had wrongly assumed that women work the same way as men in this respect. Now, let me qualify a couple things before going any further.The implications of this are enormous for both sexes in dating, but let me underline the biggest lesson for women: if a man isn't falling for you from an early stage - say, the first month - it isn't going to happen.Don't wait around for his feelings to "grow" the way yours sometimes do. While this doesn't necessarily mean that he should be ruled out as a potential boyfriend or husband, it does mean that he will never be the woozy, infatuated lover you've seen in the movies.By "love" I mean deep romantic attraction, as opposed to lust or long-term attachment.Lust is primary, physical and fleeting for both sexes, and long-term attachment takes years of shared experience to develop in either sex.I believe this is true for a couple reasons: Other data, such as a woman's religious or political beliefs, her social class, her family, etc.are either immediately available to a man via conversation, or else far less significant in garnering his attraction.I want to explain that one thing here, because the corresponding lesson for women is equally important. He wasn't the best looking guy in the world and he was a little quiet.So many of the women that write to me for advice have stories that go something like this... I never really considered him a potential boyfriend, but then he asked me out.At the same time, men from many different countries find it more and more difficult to find a life partner, in their own country, who still believe in the traditional family values.